I have something to say, but I don’t know what it is.

I know there are things I want to say to the world. Often, I don’t know what they are and I don’t know who exactly I want to say them to. I just know I have something to tell the world.

I am the youngest of three siblings, and as such, I grew up with a sort of inferiority complex where I always perceived myself as being underestimated, talked down to, babied. It’s something that has affected personal and professional relationships in the past because I can get indignant or combative when I think it’s happening.

The important part of that is that I think it’s happening, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started realizing that it’s usually in my head. I think that’s the subject for a separate post, however.

My point is that I often feel like I have something to tell the world. Even when I don’t know what it is, I feel like I need to say something in order to stay relevant, or to gain people’s respect. I want to be seen as someone who contributes, who pays attention to the world, and understands it. To be honest, it’s pressure I put on myself that is definitely unnecessary.

Again, I’m not totally sure where I am going with this post other than that I just want to say something. I want to be seen and recognized for contributing to the world in some way. Perhaps I haven’t earned that yet, but I do feel like I am trying. Hopefully, my time will come.

For now, I simply scream into this online void, hoping that someone will find my words relatable or helpful.